BACK TO THE FUTURE!

     Well, I haven't posted for a few days.
There have been distractions...like ghosts from the past....
The WHOLE POINT of this exercise is to stay focused on the FUTURE....to be INTENTIONAL in this final period of life.

    I'm learning it's about energy management at this age. By nature, I typically am either "all in" or asleep. I have slept more in the past 6 weeks than in the past 6 years.  Glorious sleep! We go to bed about 9:30 or 10pm now. It used to be difficult to stay awake past about 8:30pm.  Back then, the alarm clock was set for 4:45am.  There never was any trouble GOING to sleep. I was exhausted. The trouble was staying asleep. The quality of sleep was rarely good, as I was always looking at the clock and obsessing about the amount of sleep I was going to get. There were also many worries and distractions at that time..... ANYWAY, BACK TO THE FUTURE GIRL!!!
The bedtime has gradually gotten later and my awakening has gradually been earlier.  At first I slept till 8am! (thought the baby had died...) Then 7:30am. Gradually 7:10am, then 7am.  Now the past few days 6:45ish, once the light begins streaming around the shades.  I have always suspected that my natural biorhythm is probably 6am-10pm.  I bet that is what I end up settling into. I'm not obsessing about it. Just observing.....

    Planner by nature, I thought I would plan ad nauseam the chores for the next day the night before, but I only have a "general" plan when I go to sleep.  I am trying not to be too regimented and I am just observing how different things "feel". That has been interesting. I would in NO WAY say I have become spontaneous, but I am leaning into some flexibility....getting some traction with it.  Feels weirdly good. In my past life, spontaneity only felt uncomfortable....

    We have a hot tub. We have aches and pains.  Most days after my morning routine we go in. Last night I was itching intensely. Over dry or too many chemicals. Not sure. Told Paul last night "No hot tub in the morning".  I woke up at about 6:40 this morning, heard him going up the stairs. We had Happy Hour on the upstairs deck porch last night, first time I can recall doing that..... With this house arrest, we are trying to "shake it up" a little.  We mentioned planning to have coffee up there on Thursday, which is our 32nd wedding anniversary.  When I heard his footsteps today I thought well, he must be checking it out for sunrise. I LOVE SUNRISES AND SUNSETS.  I kind of made myself get up. Poor dear. It was so early..... (I would have already been up 2 hours in my old life).
I brushed my teeth, ignored the facewashing so as not to miss the sunrise. Got my coffee and climbed up there. He was reading a book with his legs up. He was surprised to see me.  It was beautiful, a little cloudy, a little damp from dew.  After getting the second chair and ottomon situated I drank my coffee and watched as the sun peaked through a slit in the clouds.  Nice! Then clouds rolled in and the coffee was gone and I asked, "Want to go in the hot tub?" He said of course, "I thought you said you didn't want to go this morning."  I do now.  So there you go, about as spontaneous as I can get now. Completely unpredictable.....lol.

      As we settled in, I asked him what his plans were for the day.  Then I pondered my own. I asked him, "Do you think I will ever get done with all the little projects around the house?"  With a broad grin on his face he said, "Oh yes....and then you will just start them all over again...."

 And that's the truth....