SELF EVALUATION Part 1

It's been almost 6 weeks now since I retired.

My blogging has been in fits and starts. I thought it would be like a diary that I would do every day.
It actually takes alot of time and sometimes I have nothing to say worth saying....so not worth the energy expenditure or time.

I thought it might be a good time for Self Evaluation.  A sort of Performance Appraisal.  Even though I am trying not to grade and judge everything I do, I guess the drill is hard to break.  It's good to do it at certain junctures.  Six weeks seems like a good time to reflect.

In just random musings:

                     SLEEP    A (almost put a minus, but REALLY! It's a + from where I came.....)
My sleep hygiene remains excellent.  I go to bed before I am exhausted totally.  I can now stay up until 9:15 to 10pm depending on the day. We rarely watch "one more show" if it is late, knowing that the night time routine before bed takes another 15-20 minutes....cat's get their treats, secure the house, get things cleaned up and put up in the kitchen, change clothes, etc.  (95% of the time I still fall asleep quickly. I take my meds at bedtime so don't think I need them to go to sleep anymore.  I have considered stopping them but felt the need to catch up first.  I may be near.  Just don't want to screw up the rhythm.  Twice a week I will wake up "early" then repeat to myself "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Give it to God and go to sleep". It usually works and I drift back off to sleep.
The key I am learning is just do NOT look at the time.  I sometimes sneak a peek because if it is before midnight I will take a benadry, justified by my allergies.  I always lay one out but take it 1-2 times a week.  If it is later, I don't want to take the pill because then I will be groggy in the morning.  Thus I sometimes peek..... Now if it is later than 2-3 am I don't take it and then my obsessive thinking may kick in and I flog myself. Three AM always has been the bewitching hour when I was working.  The alarm was set for 4:45am and undoubtedly I would obsess about something that was going on. It always seemed really hard to go back to sleep.  I had a nightmare this morning and I did the mental exercise "I wonder if it is too late to take the benadryl?" I looked at the clock and it sure enough was 3am.  Arghh...... Well now I know I have HOURS left to sleep but I started obsessing. It took me about 90 minutes to go back to sleep.  I have to work on "exorcising" that 3am curse. No need any more!  Most days, I will sleep in until the morning light peeks in the windows. That is how I remind myself it is time to get up. I just have to remember that. If it is not getting light, just "SHUSH and go back to bed baby!" The first couple of weeks of retirement I slept 11 or 12 hours. Now consistently I sleep in until 6:45-7:30. Usually 9-10 hrs. Usually glorious. I convince myself now, it is definitely an A plus!!!

Addendum: Paul had an MRI this morning scheduled at 8am ("Why so early?!!!") Hahaha
He set his phone alarm and I set "Old Faithful" at my bedside for 6:30 am just in case.
I woke with a fright when the light began peeking through the windows. I reached out and Paul was gone. I rolled over and looked at the time: 6:30 on the dot!

I'VE STILL GOT IT!!!.......smile