WHAT NOW?

Ok! So the retirement celebration is over and what a time we had! Two sequestered"old folks" can really party ya'll. We got take out from my favorite Italian restaurant (meatballs!!!)
My colleague and dear friend gave me a vintage bottle of Dom Perignon.  I actually had never had it before. Oh my! Smoooooth...Delicious. I realize how wonderful it is having NEW experiences.....

So, today I ponder: WHAT NOW? That will be a process of prayerful consideration.....
I reflect first on the things that I am grateful NOT to have to do any longer, that were a part of my routine for so many years: alarm set at 4:45am, jump up, wash the face, straighten the hair, put the makeup on, cinch up those 30-40mmHg compression hose, then get dressed.  About a year ago, I started wearing scrubs.
Talk about a great idea! Working in pajamas, and I got to wear tennis shoes!(which helped the neuromas in my feet). Getting ready became alot like a pro sports player getting all taped for battle.  With java in hand, I set out to the field.  Every day except Wednesday, which was the sacred "Peak of the Weak".

The best thing NOT to have to do any longer is fight that daily traffic on Interstate 10.  I became so resentful of all the time wasted at a standstill.  The never-ending construction, for years. I used to quip that "by the time I retire it will take 6 minutes to get home"......Well, sadly that didn't happen, but I'm now free!!! Happy Dance!

I don't miss the prep, or the day to day problems of managing a practice.  As humans, we have problems. Life has it's ups and downs and the human element always led to new situations to "manage". The medicine was the gravy and the exam room was  my sanctuary. That is where the healing magic happened every day for me. I LOVED my patients and we shared life together. I miss that already......

The ABSOLUTE BEST THING NOT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH any longer is the TIME URGENCY! I was always on a  treadmill. My sweet staff will tell you it was my glaring weakness  (one of them, anyway).  They never moved fast enough for me.  I always felt behind and rushed, trying to manage time and keep a calm demeanor when the clock was the enemy.  So as I have reflected, I have decided that THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO WORK ON the most as I adjust to this new routine.

Those who know me know I do not naturally "go with the flow". Well, I never have before.....
Raised by a Marine, everything was structured and judged. There was discipline and execution.
It served me well through the years but led clearly to an undercurrent of neuroticism.....(ha, just ask the staff....)

So WHAT NOW? Learn to breathe. Learn to be. Learn to observe. Learn to move more slowly and pay attention to how that all feels. My husband Paul has always told me just to "relax" and he would sing the little ditty: "Row, row row your boat, GENTLY down the stream....."  It used to get on my last nerve! (to put it mildly....) He was in that little row boat gently rowing but I was somewhere on the Colorado River riding the rapids with a helmet on......
Well, now the river ride is over and I can choose both the boat and the speed.  I can't say I am yet ready for the babbling brook, but the roar of the river has clearly become too much.

So, for TODAY, I shall notice a different  pace of life and begin to adapt.  I shall breathe and move more slowly. I spy the recliner.  Life is good and we are healthy.  I will do it just for today. After all, that is all we really have.