This is my very first Retired Monday and it feels like Wednesday. That was always my day for puttering around the house. I feel like I should put the trash out on the curb.....
I had another rough night of sleep. Kept dreaming of work and managing "issues". That was interspersed with visions of washing and organizing thousands of sheets and blankets and pillow cases (refer to yesterday's post). Golly gee. I really am a mess. Healing is coming, day by day. I know it. "It's OK, have patience!" the voice of reason says.......If my Mom were still alive she would vouch for me that patience never was my strong suit. I can still hear her say "Bonnie Jo, patience is a virtue"......
Just spent the last couple of hours diving deep into the linen closets. So many mis-matched things, tablecloths, napkins, doily's, sheets, blankets, pillows, comforters.... Sorted by items and sizes, we now have a huge "give away" pile and at least 10 piles of "launder and fold and organize". Come to think about it that was exactly last night's nightmare. I always do this kind of thing when I feel nervous. I FEEL NERVOUS. Being newly retired without a routine, is strangely stressful for me, and then, there's this COVID19 thing.....This kind of behavior gives me some semblance of order over situations of which I have no control.....
The little humorous texts we send one another make us laugh, but what if...... ? There is an underlying feeling of anxiety and helplessness..... We don't watch the news at all. We are staying safely sequestered as are our children in their respective places. What else can we do? My Jewish bestie Dr. Helena called a week ago and said "You DO have a Zpack and Plaquenil at home right???" Israel is ahead of us 3-6 weeks and she updated me on all the things a doctor "should know"....sigh.....Maybe I SHOULD watch the news. We tried to get the medications but of course we were seriously late to the task. Those drugs were unavailable and are back ordered until further notice. We did get Zinc..... Then my nurse BFF Trudy in Phoenix texts me yesterday, "You have a pulse ox at home, right? GET ONE, and BATTERIES!" I ordered one last night. I still didn't watch the news. Paul looks at the COVID 19 map from John's Hopkins. I did read the headlines this morning that say to expect a week of deaths like 911. People, I'm now nervous, ok?...... I don't want to be nervous. I am now just finally achieving "happy go lucky, I'm retired status"...... How dare there be a crisis. I don't want to think about it. So I guess, I cope, and I organize.....
We go out to the store a couple times a week for just "stuff", mainly just to get out.... I know, WRONG reason! I sent Paul alone Saturday. It's better that way. We have different shopping styles. I shop for entertainment, usually going up and down each aisle just to be sure I don't need something or "want" something and didn't know it. My husband enters the store like an assassin, executing the job for which he was selected. It sounds funny but is the absolute truth! He wields a basket like a weapon and I've seen him almost mow people over. Now I make him wear a mask. At least he isn't in the store longer than 12 minutes, diminishing exposure, and better yet he isn't recognizable..... He returns home with EXACTLY what is written on the list. Nothing more. Nothing less. If it isn't on the list, it isn't in the bag. Period. Not complaining. I'm lucky to have a shopper. (I just have to be sure the list is complete).......
Gotta go now. The dryer is beeping.....
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